Is it any consolation, so I do actually it; I am ashamed canon of all those who are actually sick a

Today hears my head to this globe. The body, however, does not belong to. It is unsuccessful. It is confirmed by the media every spring, as we approach the bikini season. Or right after Christmas, canon when rib fat should of.
When I was little, I ate what I wanted. I was satisfied when I had had enough. I moved because I wanted. I climbed trees, swam like a fish, ran along the paths in the woods in our summer paradise, bungee jumped, jumped paradise. With all of me.
Today I feel guilty every time I open my mouth to eat. Actually I never sated either. I'm a supporting member canon of a health center. I have new sneakers that shouts at me in the hallway. The head and body have separated.
I was 14 years old when it began. It was a comment that was about. A comment about my body. I decided that "they would surely see ... that this girl did not intend to be great. canon Never in my life. " canon
In the years that followed, the food and the control of food focus. And exercise. 1000 meters breast before school. canon A half tomato for dinner. At 15 years old I came into size 10 years in pants. canon Anyway, I went with big clothes out 10 årsbuksa. Mirror showed me not always the truth. Sometimes I thought my 34 kg was too much. I was really greasy. canon
Coincidences made sure I was discovered. I was threatened with hospitalization and forced feeding. My big fright, canon I hardly dared enough to take a blood test. My tactic changed. Nobody realized that this was actually a disease. Anorexia was barely a word.
Anorexia who went over to Bulimia. Nor a word at the time. In allfall not a word I had heard about. Not those who were around me either. They were just happy that I finally ate again. And as much as given!
A vektnål that went up and down like a yoyo, five Grethe Rodhekurs canon four Libra Courses, a hypnosis slim courses, three stays at health resorts in Sweden where the diet was fierce, and three children later, I'm sitting canon Thus today and detest my body.
Is it any consolation, so I do actually it; I am ashamed canon of all those who are actually sick and maybe even die. I am ashamed canon of all those who are starving to death. I am ashamed of all those who may become damaged and can no longer use the arms or legs. I am ashamed of not being able to pull myself together. canon I'm ashamed that I did not come into size 38 anymore. I'm ashamed that I really am a strong woman who should canon rise above such superficial things like dress size. I'm ashamed that I did not save the world in stedetfor to be concerned my own shame. I'm ashamed that I can not be more thankful that I am healthy. Or said three fanatical kids. Or the wonderful man. And the two bonus kids. And all those fine friends. And my sisters.
Meanwhile gobbles I tip on the face of the country's newspapers. Or in magazines I read at the hairdressers and the doctor's office. Baits success stories of those who have gone down 30 kg in five weeks. That has made all the lifestyle changes needed for a lighter life. And about how happy they are sleek and well-trained. And know that I should have done that too. I have resources.
When my husband asks me if we should take a bike or a ski trip in the woods, I sour. On him. I think he's trying to say I'm not good enough. It is of course not the way it is and I know that. Or it will say, head knows it. Not the loathsome body. I want to them to hear back together. I want to climb trees and run in the woods because I wanted. I want to eat an ice in the summer heat without recoiling. And so I can save the world.
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Feeling like you, and know exactly how it is. This was like reading my own thoughts. Especially section to be ashamed and not appreciate life. I also have two wonderful children, and a good man, but large parts of the day is spent thinking about my body and how dissatisfied I am with it. Spend so much energy thinking about this ... and so wasted. I do not think that others are worth less because they are obese, just me ... Feeling other people think bad things about me, although they certainly do not. Have guilty every unhealthy things I eat, but can not forbear. And penalties myself in my mind afterwards ...
Heisan Also known this body. Ashamed, tucked myself away while self-esteem shrinks to about zero. Got spiseforrstyrrelse as 11 years old and today as 49 year old woman I have a strained relationship with body and food. . Unfortunately there are many who feel the same as us, losing precious time of life by being ashamed, hiding and put your life on hold .... Elin
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